Monday, May 14, 2012

Does the pain ever go away?  I was going through some photos and found this one of Emm and her friends taken a few months before she died.  She looks good and healthy, other than the obvious sign, her baldness, she has cancer.  Tears still flow at times, but to some it means I don't have faith in God or the atonement of Christ.  Just because I miss or still cry, does it mean I don't have faith?  I truly wonder if only those who have lost a child understand the pain that can come on so suddenly and feel like and emotional knife is stabbing into my mind.  I don't focus on the pain, but it comes quickly and can leave just as quickly.

There are the cool reminders that sometimes cause a broad smile to sweep across my face and even laugh.  I love those times.  I don't know if I would have accepted the range of conflicting emotions if I had not been a counselor for 20 years.  I may have been one of those people thought to themselves, "Wow, this person is dwelling way too long on this loss of his child.  He needs to get over it." Interesting how life experiences allow us to gain such depth into issues that were never even conceptualized in our youth.  I would have never even imagined I would have experienced the things I have when I was in my youth enjoying sports, food and fun.  However, I realize that life is what we make it.   

Thursday, May 03, 2012

http://youtu.be/D_sElzBtHvg

Emm's friends express their feelings about losing her.

Friday, April 13, 2012


Why are pediatric cancers the forgotten by our society? According to a Forbes Magazine article breast cancer got $584 million dollars for clinical trials, even AIDS got $254 million for research. Guess how much ALL pediatric cancers got? Only $26 million. AIDS is not even a cancer but the National Cancer Institute (NCI) gave $254 million for research out of a finite bucket of money. Why???

Why are childhood cancers swept under the carpet? We hear in the news how the GSA spent millions on vacations and gifts for government employees over the years. These super pacs are spending millions on silly TV adds to assure their candidate looks "electable". How many billions of dollars are being wasted on unneeded wars?

Pediatric cancers are the number one disease killer of our children and second only to accidents as the overall killer of our kids.

Am I mad about this? When I found out I was shocked and stunned of the neglect we are showing on this issue and our children. Is it just because there are no celebrity children who have cancer? Do we pay that much attention to issues just because a celebrity tells us to?

I am not a celebrity but a dad of a child who died from cancer. Maybe if we had paid more attention to pediatric cancers she would be alive right now. Why are we not shouting this from the roof tops?????



Tuesday, April 03, 2012


My first live TV interview. Thought it went pretty well.


Emm's book will be in bookstores in the next few weeks

Sunday, March 25, 2012


A reminder that we are all Dragonflies.

Eulogy Story : Dragonfly

Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle in a community of water beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond with few disturbances and interruptions. Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their friend was dead, gone forever.

Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what he had found at the top. When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying.

So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never known existed. Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended. But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he understood that their time would come, when they, too, would know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off into his joyous new life!


Not sure who the author is

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


My mission is three fold:

1. Help get more funds for pediatric cancer research. When breast cancer gets 584 million for clinical trials and research and all pediatric cancers combined only get 26 million, it begs the question WHY?

2. Help people know what are normal thoughts, feelings and actions when grieving a loss.

3. Help people know the wrong and right things to say to those who are grieving

The starting point is to purchase a copy of Emm's book Dragonfly Wings for Emmalee available on Amazon and www.Dragonflywings4emmalee.com

Wednesday, February 01, 2012


Having cancer is like having a time bomb inside of you, but you cant see the how much time is left. Many people came to us claiming to have the way to diffuse the bomb inside of Emmalee. They presented us with juices, machines, and various homeopathic cures, claiming that time would be added to Emmalee's bomb. However, these cures were untested in the rigors of battle.

Even science had no cure options for Emmalee. Someday we may know what diseases lurk inside us and I pray that we will have ways to prevent these diseases from manifesting. I also pray that one day we will have a cure for cancer. This video is my best shot for now as to what each of us can do.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

An explanation of grief and loss. My experiences with grief and Emmalee's book. Check out the link below.

Friday, January 13, 2012

To my faithful, silent readers of this blog, and only to you right now, I am offering a 20% off coupon code at check out. It will only be available to you guys for one day only. 12:00am today 1/13/12 till 12:00am on 1/14/12.

So go to www.dragonflywings4emmalee.com and buy your book today

Where it says coupon code type in "dragonfly"

Thanks,

Steve