Monday, June 11, 2012

What Was the Last Thing Your Loved One Said to You?

After a loved one dies we search through our memories and try to find the last thing they said to us, the last time we saw them, the last meal they ate, the last positive memory they may have had, or the last time we told them we loved them.  With Emmalee, we had a unique opportunity to try to commit certain experiences, things we did together or things she said to memory, so that they would stick.  I would hold certain experiences in my mind a few seconds longer and tell myself to, "remember this."  It has almost been three years since Emmalee died and even though I have forgotten what her laugh sounds like, I still have certain memories that have stuck.  

Maybe we need to do more "memory sticking" not just in case someone close to us dies but because memories just plain fade over time.  One way to do this is with photos.  I can remember more about experiences with Emm when I look at a photo.  Another way to do this is by writing down specific memories in a journal. There are several times I remember telling myself, "Hold this for a few precious more seconds to let this memory stick".  (Sorry for the shameless plug of my book here, but you will have to read the book for those memories)  For this post I wanted to tell you about our last vacation together.  We were at Zion National Park almost exactly three years ago this month.  We were out to breakfast on my birthday, when Matthew took this photo of Emm and I together at the Bumbleberry Inn in Sprindale, Utah.  It is as if I can feel her cheek against mine still to this day.  It is a great memory that I will never forget.  Emm swam for the last time here as well.  She loved swimming, but could not swim because of the double Broviac tube that went directly to her heart.  I rigged something that allowed her to be in the water for just a few minutes and she loved it.  Seeing her happy in the swimming pool was a tremendous joy.  Oh, and this was the trip that she threw up all over the table at the Vietnamese restaurant there.  Not funny at the time, but I smile when I think about it now.  

Now do your own memory sticking.  

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